ORIGINAL TEXT	MODERN TRANSLATION
ACT I, SCENE ii. Athens. A room in a cottage.	ACT I, SCENE ii. Athens. A room in a cottage.
Enter SNUG, BOTTOM, FLUTE, SNOUT, QUINCE, and STARVELING	The Players, SNUG, BOTTOM, FLUTE, SNOUT, QUINCE, and STARVELING, enter
QUINCE Is all our company here?	QUINCE (Carpenter) Is everybody here?
BOTTOM You were best to call them generally, man by man, according to the scrip.	BOTTOM (Weaver) Best to call them one at a time as on this list.
QUINCE Here is the scroll of every man's name, which is thought fit, through all Athens, to play in our interlude before the duke and the duchess, on his wedding-day at night.	QUINCE (Carpenter) Here is the list of everyone's name capable of acting in the play for the Duke and Duchess of Athens on their wedding night.
BOTTOM First, good Peter Quince, say what the play treats on, then read the names of the actors, and so grow to a point.	BOTTOM (Weaver) First tell us about the play, then who is acting in which role, and then be quiet.
QUINCE Marry, our play is, The most lamentable comedy, and most cruel death of Pyramus and Thisbe.	QUINCE (Carpenter) Okay, our play is A Tragic Comedy of the Cruel Deaths of Pyramus and Thisbe.
BOTTOM A very good piece of work, I assure you, and a merry. Now, good Peter Quince, call forth your actors by the scroll. Masters, spread yourselves.	BOTTOM (Weaver) A good and funny play. Now Peter Quince, call out the names of the actors on the list. Gentlemen, gather around to hear.
QUINCE Answer as I call you. Nick Bottom, the weaver.	QUINCE (Carpenter) Answer as I call your name. Nick Bottom, the weaver?
BOTTOM Ready. Name what part I am for, and proceed.	BOTTOM (Weaver) Here. Tell me my part and keep going.
QUINCE You, Nick Bottom, are set down for Pyramus.	QUINCE (Carpenter) You, Nick Bottom, are cast as Pyramus.
BOTTOM What is Pyramus? a lover, or a tyrant?	BOTTOM (Weaver) Is Pyramus a lover or a villain?
QUINCE A lover, that kills himself most gallantly for love.	QUINCE (Carpenter) A heroic lover that kills himself for love.
BOTTOM That will ask some tears in the true performing of it: if I do it, let the audience look to their eyes; I will move storms, I will condole in some measure. To the rest: yet my chief humor is for a tyrant: I could play Ercles rarely, or a part to tear a cat in, to make all split. The raging rocks And shivering shocks Shall break the locks Of prison gates; And Phibbus' car Shall shine from far And make and mar The foolish Fates. This was lofty! Now name the rest of the players. This is Ercles' vein, a tyrant's vein; a lover is more condoling.	BOTTOM (Weaver) I'll have to cry to make it look good. If I cry, I'll make the audience cry buckets of tears. I'll act sorrowful too. But I'd rather play a tyrant. I could play Hercules or other part involving mad ranting. (Recites passage while ranting.) That was great! Now tell us who's been cast in the other parts. My recitation was like Hercules, like a tyrant. A lover would be more sorrowful.
QUINCE Francis Flute, the bellows-mender.	QUINCE (Carpenter) Francis Flute, the bellows-fixer?
FLUTE Here, Peter Quince.	FLUTE (Bellows-fixer) Here, Peter Quince.
QUINCE Flute, you must take Thisbe on you.	QUINCE (Carpenter) Flute, you'll play Thisbe.
FLUTE What is Thisbe? a wandering knight?	FLUTE (Bellows-fixer) Is Thisbe a wandering knight?
QUINCE It is the lady that Pyramus must love.	QUINCE (Carpenter) Thisbe is the lady Pyramus loves.
FLUTE Nay, faith, let me not play a woman; I have a beard coming.	FLUTE (Bellows-fixer) No way. I won't play a woman. I'm growing a beard.
QUINCE That's all one: you shall play it in a mask, and you may speak as small as you will.	QUINCE (Carpenter) No matter. You'll wear a mask and can speak high-pitched.
BOTTOM An I may hide my face, let me play Thisbe too, I'll speak in a monstrous little voice. 'Thisne, Thisne;' 'Ah, Pyramus, lover dear! thy Thisbe dear, and lady dear!'	BOTTOM (Weaver) If I can hide my face, I'll play Thisbe too! I'll speak in a very silly, high-pitched voice: "Thisne, Thisne!" "Ah, Pyramus, my lover dear! thy Thisbe dear and lady dear!"
QUINCE No, no; you must play Pyramus: and, Flute, you Thisbe.	QUINCE (Carpenter) No, no. You'll play Pyramus and Flute will play Thisbe.
BOTTOM Well, proceed.	BOTTOM (Weaver) Fine, get on with it.
QUINCE Robin Starveling, the tailor.	QUINCE (Carpenter) Robin Starveling, the tailor?
STARVELING Here, Peter Quince.	STARVELING (Tailor) Here, Peter Quince.
QUINCE Robin Starveling, you must play Thisbe's mother. Tom Snout, the tinker.	QUINCE (Carpenter) Starveling, you'll play Thisbe's mother. Tom Snout, the handyman?
SNOUT Here, Peter Quince.	SNOUT (Handyman) Here, Peter Quince.
QUINCE You, Pyramus' father: myself, Thisbe's father: Snug, the joiner; you, the lion's part: and, I hope, here is a play fitted.	QUINCE (Carpenter) You'll play Pyramus' father. I'll play Thisbe's father. Snug will play the lion's part, and I hope this is a play well-cast.
SNUG Have you the lion's part written? pray you, if it be, give it me, for I am slow of study.	SNUG (Joiner) Did you already write the lion's part? If you did, let me have it. I am slow to memorize things.
QUINCE You may do it extempore, for it is nothing but roaring.	QUINCE (Carpenter) You may improvise, for all you must do is roar.
BOTTOM Let me play the lion too: I will roar, that I will do any man's heart good to hear me; I will roar, that I will make the duke say 'Let him roar again, let him roar again.'	BOTTOM (Weaver) Let me be a lion too. I will roar such that I inspire people. I will roar such that the duke asks me to roar again and again.
QUINCE An you should do it too terribly, you would fright the duchess and the ladies, that they would shriek; and that were enough to hang us all.	QUINCE (Carpenter) If you roar too terribly you will frighten the duchess and the ladies will scream. That's enough to get us all killed.
STARVELING That would hang us, every mother's son.	STARVELING (Tailor) Yep, they'd kill us all.
BOTTOM I grant you, friends, if that you should fright the ladies out of their wits, they would have no more discretion but to hang us: but I will aggravate my voice so that I will roar you as gently as any sucking dove; I will roar you an 'twere any nightingale.	BOTTOM (Weaver) Okay, I'll give you that they would have to hang us if we scared the ladies out of their minds. But I will soften my voice and roar as gently as a baby bird. I will roar like a nightingale.
QUINCE You can play no part but Pyramus; for Pyramus is a sweet-faced man; a proper man, as one shall see in a summer's day; a most lovely gentleman-like man: therefore you must needs play Pyramus.	QUINCE (Carpenter) You will only play Pyramus. Pyramus is handsome, polite, a gentleman. So you absolutely must play him.
BOTTOM Well, I will undertake it. What beard were I best to play it in?	BOTTOM (Weaver) Fine. How should I grow my beard for the part?
QUINCE Why, what you will.	QUINCE (Carpenter) However you want.
BOTTOM I will discharge it in either your straw-color beard, your orange-tawny beard, your purple-in-grain beard, or your French-crown-color beard, your perfect yellow.	BOTTOM (Weaver) I will wear a blonde beard, or a tan beard, or a red beard, or a perfect yellow beard like a golden French coin.
QUINCE Some of your French crowns have no hair at all, and then you will play bare-faced. But, masters, here are your parts: and I am to entreat you, request you and desire you, to con them by tomorrow night; and meet me in the palace wood, a mile without the town, by moonlight; there will we rehearse, for if we meet in the city, we shall be dogged with company, and our devices known. In the meantime I will draw a bill of properties, such as our play wants. I pray you, fail me not.	QUINCE (Carpenter) Some French have no beards, so you will have a bare face. But men, these are your parts. And I beg you, ask you, wish you to learn them by tomorrow night and meet me in the woods a mile from town under the moonlight for rehearsal. If we meet in the city, people will bother us and they'll know the whole play beforehand. In the meantime, I'll make a list of props we need. I beg you, please don't let me down.
BOTTOM We will meet; and there we may rehearse most obscenely and courageously. Take pains; be perfect: adieu.	BOTTOM (Weaver) We will come and rehearse with courage and spirit. We'll try hard and perfect our acting. Goodbye.
QUINCE At the duke's oak we meet.	QUINCE (Carpenter) We'll meet at the duke's oak tree.
BOTTOM Enough; hold or cut bow-strings.	BOTTOM (Weaver) I understand. Be there or don't show your face again.
Exeunt	Everyone leaves